I think I realised a fundamental difference between men and women today: men will only hear what they want to hear according to their top priorities. I do not want to discuss whether men are more focused than women or can only focus on one thing – what matters is that whatever they listen to, only the important things will be remembered. While that is totally natural for the human brain, it seems the half-life for less than “life-threatening” memories is less than a week. In some cases close to immediately…
An example for women: have you seriously talked to a man watching sports or a movie? Maybe told him what happened during your day? He will most likely react to your babbling – most men learned that not reacting when a women talks to you leads to much longer talks … Some men will try stopping the conversation as they can only follow one thing, TV or babbling … err … talk. Some men will even be able to pass the simple “What did I just say test”. The last two maybe three sentences can give enough information to create a satisfying answer. Be a little more specific when testing – ask him to recall everything you told him, and he will miserably fail. I don’t say he will not come up with every detail, but if his main attention was the movie, more than the last two minutes of your conversation have already been wiped. Sure, there are exceptions … but believe me … those are just exceptions.
An example for men: have you ever heard “Lets just be friends, ok?” Well, most of us have. I have recently and a friend of mine, too. I do not know how it is with women, but I think, when men fall in love they fall for excuses like “I’m in love with xyz. Nevertheless, I like you.” or “I don’t want a relationship. … Lets meet on Saturday.” Men will only think about “I like you.” and “Lets meet on Saturday.” Of course love has its weight in this example. That is why it is so fatal. The main primal priority is “hunting” or “mating”. And we would not be good at that would we be distracted by “I’m in love with xyz” or “I don’t want a relationship” Sure we might remember everything that happened and that was said, but since we mainly think about what we wanted to hear we just prolong our hope … our pain.
Men are so simple.
I will not start giving advice. I will just try to remember this, the next time I have a serous talk with a woman.